Gone but not forgotton
by Angel'sGirl5
Summary: Angel pays a midnight visit. . . to a grave. Please RR


Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Angel, or any of the characters. They belong to Joss. Also I don't own the song 'Always on my mind' by Elvis Presley. Thanks and I hope you like this story.  
May Angels lead you in:  
  
~*Maybe I didn't treat you*~  
  
Quite as good as I should have  
  
Maybe I didn't love you  
  
Quite as often as I could have  
  
Little things I should have said and done  
  
I just never took the time  
  
~*You were always on my mind*~  
  
She was gone. Forever. It wasn't like before. She couldn't be revived this time. He had known it would happen. Somewhere inside him, he had known it would happen. But she was till just a kid, so young, so innocent. Why? That question had repeated itself in his brain a million times over. Why did she have to go so soon? It wasn't her time. The Powers That Be had tricked him, lied to him. He still remembered that perfect day when he had walked out in the sun and touched her face. That day could never be brought back, just as she couldn't. He sat there kneeling on the cold ground. She was there, underneath the earth. Her frail little body was growing cold. She was . . . dead  
  
~*Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died*~  
  
Give me, give me one more chance  
  
To keep you satisfied, satisfied  
  
Maybe I didn't hold you  
  
All those lonely, lonely times  
  
And I guess I never told you  
  
I'm so happy that you're mine  
  
If I make you feel second best  
  
Girl, I'm sorry I was blind  
  
~*You were always on my mind*~  
  
"Buffy Anne Summers  
1980-2001  
Devoted Sister  
Beloved Friend  
She Saved The World A Lot" She had saved the world time after time, and nobody would ever know. These people who mill about would never know how close they came to dying, a thousand times. They would never know that they had one girl to thank for their lives, their very heartbeats. A girl, who did what she did because she had to. She didn't want to die She wanted to save her sister, the sister who never should have been. Why? Why didn't she just let Dawn die? He knew he sounded selfish, but he loved her. He loved her so much. He could still hear her heart beating. . . No, it was someone else's heart. Someone was there. He turned. . . Xander. The boy slowly approached.  
  
"Angel?" He glanced at the boy. Why was he here? What did he want?  
"Buffy told me, years ago, that if something happened to her to give this to you" Xander held out a manila envelope. Angel took it from him. The boy turned to go, but he glanced back "Oh, and Angel, I won't tell anyone you were here"  
  
"Thanks" His own voice sounded strange to him. Xander had left. He was alone again. He sat down, by her grave. He let the envelope slip from his fingers He looked at her grave again, and began weeping. His crying turned to sobbing, his chest heaving with unnecessary breaths. As he called out to her.  
"Why baby? Why? Why didn't you tell me? You weren't fair. I didn't get to say goodbye. I thought you loved me. I would have given my life for you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. All my existence I've loved only you. Buffy, I-I can't do this. I can't be strong. I'm a coward, I've been anything else."  
  
He was sobbing so hard. His entire body was shaking from the force of his grief.  
"I can't do it. I can't go on without you. How can I be in this world when you're not? My only moment of happiness in my whole miserable existence was when I was with you. I still think about that night. You were so innocent. . ." He laid down on the soil next to her. He rested his hand down on the cool earth that was her burial mound..  
  
"I remember everything that ever happened between us. And don't you think it was easy for me to leave. It was the hardest thing I've ever done; Knowing I was walking away from my only chance at happiness. I felt like my soul was being ripped out. . . "He took a breath. His entire being was in pain.  
"I remember everything about you. The feel of your skin, the smell of your hair, the taste of your lips, the way you looked when you were ready to go into battle, the peaceful way you slept, the way you breathed . . . everything. Buffy, I miss you so much I feel like I can't go on. . . "He sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees, and took a ragged breath. The pain was acute. He wanted to die, again. He looked down. The envelope. It lie there on the ground He picked it up and turned it over. The only thing that was written on the front  
  
"Angel"  
  
It was the only thing he still had of hers. Slowly he opened it and peered inside. It was the cross. The one he had given her the night they met. Gingerly he lifted it out, careful not to touch the cross itself. He laid it on the ground. He looked in the envelope a second time. A withered and yellowed piece of paper lay there. He took it out and unfolded it. It had just one word. It had just one word on it:  
  
"Always"  
  
Always. She was still his girl, even in death. She loved him until the very end. He wanted to be with her wherever she was; even if it was in some hell dimension. He lay down next to her once again. He grabbed the cross in his hand and felt the burning. He held it and endured the self- inflicted torture until he could no longer stand it. As he dropped the cross he saw the deep injury of the cross. He still felt it, searing his skin, but he didn't care. He lay there, waiting for the sun to rise. So that he could be with his love again. He remembered her words to him on that snowy dawn. . .  
  
"Strong is fighting! It's hard and it's painful and it's everyday"  
  
He couldn't fight anymore. He was tired. . .  
  
Then he heard it. It was a voice, her voice calling to him.  
  
"No, not for me. Not now. You still have work to do, I'll never forget you. Don't forget me. I will love you always. . . Always"  
  
He felt warm and safe. He could feel her. She was here, touching his still heart. She would always love him, and he would always love her. She was with him now, invading his soul. She would always be with him. Their love had transcended time space even death. Their love was immortal. . .  
  
|~*Tell me, tell me that your sweet | |love hasn't died*~ | |Give me, give me one more chance | |To keep you satisfied, satisfied | | | |Little things I should have said and | |done | |I just never took the time | |You were always on my mind | |You are always on my mind | |~*You are always on my mind*~ |  
  
This is one of my other B/A stories. The other is 'Always My Girl' Hoped you liked this story. Please R/R. Thanks, Love ya all 


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